Scarlett's Adventures

Started Scarlett Twirling! It's been one of the things I look forward to....watching her brings me so much joy, and honestly, I think it's the one thing that makes me happiest these days.
She's done 4-5 competitions this year and has about 15 trophies already. She's got such a great attitude about practicing and runs around the living room with her baton.

This is Scarlett after winning World's Most Beautiful.
She did so well on the stage for only just turning 5 years old. Sometimes I have to remind myself of how young she is and what these kids can do out in front of people. She loves it too, otherwise I wouldn't have her doing it. I believe the child should be encouraged, but if it's not something they are ready for, don't push too hard. I want it to be enjoyable for her! I think she looks pretty happy here.

This weekend Scarlett is going to another competition. It's one near and dear to my heart. It is in honor of a woman that meant a lot to me, and my Mother.
The competition provides a scholarship for twirlers, and this woman's Daughter has this "Carnival Contest" every year to provide a scholarship for twirlers to honor her mom's memory. It's going to be fun!

Detroit

So I headed to Detroit last Sunday to start a new Management position with my Company, General Motors. It was rough to say the least. I missed my Husband and children so much. I enjoyed having some quiet time in a hotel, and the fact that the entire week was expensed with eating some very lavish meals in some really nice restaurants. I also enjoyed a quiet bath a couple times, don't get to do that too often. It was eerily quiet though. No messy faces, diapers to change, messes to clean up.... while I appreciated that, I had to go, go, go.... I also was the only woman hired into this management level. It was tough, although I get along with all my colleagues. I found myself really missing my friends, GIRLfriends, and somehow wondered how I ended up living a life that is dominated by males. I felt alone, completely alone. I didn't have my TEAM behind me. I felt judged on how I looked, what I said, how I spoke. Sometimes I wonder if there is a life for me that is different from being an executive and in the Automotive Industry. I have worked hard to be in the position I'm in, but there are days I just want to be a MOM, wife, artist, living simply. I have no idea how to even achieve that. We have 5 children to provide for, a house, 2 cars, and miscellaneous expenses that add up to a whole lot of "work" to do. Does anyone or has anyone every transitioned their life into something else? Has anyone or does anyone have any suggestions on how to change it up completely step by step? I've been self employed before, it's unpredictable and scary. I feel like I owe my children better and to provide stability, in a home, and financially too. I grew up moving all the time, with a single mother, no stability, changed schools often, made new friends, and just bounced around. I don't want that for them. I also want to live somewhere warm, and close to beaches and I'm right here in Michigan. It would be great to live a quality life, not always be pressured and live up to maybe something your just not. Can you believe I still don't know? I know a couple things...being a Wife and Mother are two wonderful things, however, I have to have a career or something I love to do that makes an income and provides for my family. I left Detroit with an appreciation for "home", and also added some things to my "sunshine suitcase"...I allowed myself some me time, took a nap after training classes all day, took some baths, ate on the top floor of the Ren Cen, & indulged in some cocktails a few times. I didn't worry about exercising, doing anything but focusing on myself. It was a good week that gave me perspective. I just wonder...is there another life for me?

Thanksgiving and some shoes!

I'm not a Black Friday shopper at all. I don't believe I've never gone out on a Black Friday event ever! I think I can find deals all day long especially on the internet. My thanksgiving was filled with a bit of sadness, missing my Mom, who passed away last May. I found myself floundering as to what to do since my husband had to work all day and the kids don't eat very much. 

Regardless, I was very thankful I had all 3 of my children and my sister with me on thanksgiving. We cooked fried chicken, collared greens, and green beans all the very southern and Gluten free way! My sister even made a gluten free apple pie which was delicious! I used a Paula Deen recipe for the fried chicken with hot sauce and surprisingly turned out fabulous! 

Today I had a hair appt and ended up stopping into DSW, and I could not help myself. Three pairs of shoes later, I said enough was enough... I had to go next door to Marshall's and check out their sales, and 500.00 dollars later, I had a new wardrobe, and my children had some Christmas presents. I have a work training next week and just wanted to stop in to get some professional clothes for myself, like a pair of pants and a couple sweaters. I can never justify spending money on myself, it's always about everyone else. I almost put most of my selections back, but then remembered I have to do some things for myself that I enjoy and makes my long hours and dedication to my job and family worth my time. I felt like a million bucks with a few new and professional outfits, some great shoes, and a new hairdo. I never liked shopping but today I got in the spirit. It's another moment to add into my sunshine suitcase. To be grateful, thankful, and then to return to my children and prepare dinner made for a great day. I just have to remember that I have to value myself and do things for myself otherwise I somehow lose ME!

Freedom and Non Traditional Thanksgiving

I am having a babysitter watch my kids today because I realize that working out makes me feel like ME again, and I have to go! Never thought I'd be so excited to go work out and let off some steam. I let it get away from me and it seems to be the last thing on my list after long days I have. Even today, only at 11:30 has been hectic and frustrating. I woke to crying kids, yelling, fighting, a husband that had been up all night, was thankful he made it home in the snow...but I was hoping they'd be quiet upon waking so that my husband could sleep. I had them both crying and really crabby today....fed them, and they are still cranky.... I put them in their really nice play room, listening to them play loudly, and think some mornings could just be hectic, and why did this Saturday morning have to be like this? Now that they are in their playroom, all is good, but I'm hearing the super loud toys, guitars, and think "CALGON...take me away". Post work out I am going to get a NON TRADITIONAL Thanksgiving meal. MY Mom was always the cook of the family. We are from the South, and have "southern traditions", and boy she could cook. Since she's not with us anymore, we are opting to do something different this year. Anyone else observe Thanksgiving in a different way? My Husband has to work on Thanksgiving all day, so we are observing Wednesday. I am happy that we have a day prior to, and we'll have our kids and my Sister. Normally I'd go to my Mom's and have Turkey, and the traditional. This year I am open to any suggestions for something different. I still want to have a feast and give Thanks for all that we have, even on the "hectic" and crazy days. I am super excited to head out shopping too. I am not much of a shopper, but just having moved into our home, I am feeling more and more domestic, trying to buy pieces from World Market, and Pier One, places like that. I am so excited for presents this year too. I am not grumpy during holidays, but it's been a hard year losing my Mom. She made Christmas wonderful, so it's been hard to be in the "spirit" of things. I am pushing forward and actually excited to shop for my children. To see their excitement with simple things, and the smallest of gifts, they are worth the time to find the right present.

Opened up a box...

Are there times that you just think what should I do with my young children tonight? It's so cold outside, like 20 degrees, and the kind of evening where it is just not in the cards to go outside and play in the snow. I really felt like doing something exciting but easily got demotivated due to the bitter freezing cold. I turned on the tv, took kids in their playrooms and thought "what can I do to entertain and interact with them"? I opted to open up a box that has been sitting down in our rec room. Inside was old photos of my 14 year old, ultrasound photos of her, and my 4 year old Daughter truly enjoyed seeing her sister so small. I also found my baby book, that included my baby photo, and to my surprise, such sentimental writings from my Mom. Being my Mom is no longer with us, it touched me greatly to find her handwriting notes about my birth. She kept it up throughout the book and what a treasure I found. I got to read to my little ones what my Mom thought about me, and her experience with me as a baby. Then we also found some dolls, and GUITARS. I had no idea how much my 1 year old son would love to pick up a guitar and enjoy the sounds. These aren't typical guitars, they are for kids, and have electronic responses to little hands. It also plays like "In a Gadda Da Vida"....really cool. It teaches them different chords, and different songs. So for a couple hours we dug through a box and found many treasures. Some of them are priceless. I need to open more of my boxes that have been stored away for too long.

The Working Mom

Do you have guilt every time you drop your kids off or have someone watching them in your place? While I know they are in good hands, and have wonderful people taking care of my little ones, my heart breaks almost daily to leave them in pursuit of my career. I am looking for feedback on how you other parents rationalize or deal with having your kids in daycare every day in order for you to make a living? I know I am making money, and being a provider to them, but somehow I feel it's SOLELY my job to always be the one there if they need something. I didn't have kids to have someone else raise them, but at one point is it too much to leave them? At the end of the week, I am in such a need for a break from working, that then I want to have time with my Husband, and just have my own time to unwind. It is so hard to have balance. I would love to hear from other Parents and their thoughts. I make the most of my time with them, but am tired of the imbalance feeling and never feeling like I am enough. My great moments are being the one to put them to bed, give them baths, make them dinner, and at times I get to work from home and can interact with my babysitter that watches them during the day. I wish in a perfect world I could be the one to be there ALL the time, but I have a hard time prioritizing my career in place of TIME with all of my kids.

LOVE

Being November, I have a lot of people I know writing each day what they are thankful for. I have to remind myself to look at what I do have, instead of what I'm missing. Last year I lost my best friend, my mentor, my greatest fan, and my rock....My Mother. Each passing Holiday I am filled with sadness that she is no longer here, and was my only family that made ME and mine a priority. It's very hard to focus on the fact that I have these beautiful children, a loving and what I'd call a near perfect husband, a sister that lives very close to me, and some incredible friendships. I also have a really great job, in which I am allowed financial freedom, and a great deal of privilege. Too many times I focus on what's missing.... I have a Father who lives in another country, which I rarely see....but he is there. I have a Husband that loves me unconditionally, and loves me for the woman I am, and all that I have, even when I am hard to deal with. I have 3 children, 2 Daughters, and a son that I enjoy daily, even with the trials and tribulations that appear daily. I have 2 stepchildren that do call me Mom, and that accepted me into their lives from the day I met their Father. Today I am thankful that it is blistering cold outside and I have a warm home to take comfort in. Too many times I forget about how fortunate I am. I give thanks every day for all of my children and husband.